My friend just told me she’s pregnant…
She and her military boyfriend are on a break right now, while he tries to get help for his anger issues…
He’s at a new post, and might not even come home before he deploys for a year, so she may not see him for a year and a half, and he may not even want to bring the relationship back together…
Shortly before going on their break, he suggested getting married soon, which was strange, because months before, he had said he didn’t think they should…
She just moved home, after living close to his old base, but hardly seeing him. It was kind of a big flop in her life…
Because he’s getting help, he told her he just needs her there as a friend, and they have an unwritten rule that they aren’t going to talk as much — give each other space…
Honestly, I don’t even know what to say to her. I told her I will be there for her, no matter what she decides, and I am pro-choice, but if I had to choose, I believe I would be pro-life… Maybe not… ?? I don’t know. I’d be confused as hell…
It’s ten times harder for her because of the relationship being where it’s at right now… And because of the military…
And she just told me that she miscarried in February (right on Valentine’s day :((( after being 1 3/4 months pregnant) …
It’s like, should she tell him? What would he say or suggest? Should she make a decision on her own, or does he have a right? Would this force them to get back together, and maybe even get married? How will this interfere with him getting help? With his military career? With their relationship? With her life? Would she even consider getting an abortion? Would she choose adoption instead? Or would she keep the baby? Would he be a part of her life again, and the baby’s life?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know! And I don’t know what to tell her! :(
The way she told me — “I’m due in December” — makes me think that she wouldn’t get an abortion… I’m not sure of her political/religious stances… But I did throw that out to her — “Are you adverse to abortion?”
I know she feels so helpless, and I do too, but I want to help her! The most I can really do right now is make her feel better, and know she’s not alone…
But HELP! What do I say? :/
